Λυσιστράτη (PDF)

Fitness for Geeks: Real Science, Great Nutrition, and Good Health eEmove me permanently from your list of reviewers SincerelyLysistrata s Guy Today Alyssa Milano called for a sex strike in response to Georgia s abortion ban which raises two uestions 1 Alyssa Milano is still a thing and 2 Haven t I heard this before I can help with the second thing Milano got it from Aristophanes who in 411 BC invented the sex strike and for all you know dildos It s 411 BC and Athens is deep in the Peloponnesian War with Sparta andveryone s pretty stressed about it In Aristophanes brilliantly simple idea the women of both sides organize and throw a sex strike Stop fighting they say Or no humping The plot is that they say that and then it works There s some stuff about dildos for obvious reasons but that s about all there is to it Unfortunately it was a made up story in real life this didn up story in real life this didn happen and Athens lost the war and that was basically the nd of the Golden Age of Democracy But the play is great asily Aristophanes s best surviving play funny and filthy and don t forget the thing about Greek plays is that you can knock one out in an hour and a glass of wine so why haven t you read this Translation and illustration courtesy of Valerie Schrag for The Graphic CanonAlyssa Milano who played a kid on the 80s TV show Who s The Boss and is now still a thing isn t the first to try the Lysistrata strategy It s been done in places as diverse as Colombia Nigeria and Italy It comes up in the US Cause Of Fear every time Republicans do something particularly assheaded so dailyIt s not an ineffective strategy and I don t mean to belittle Alyssa Milano who performed the voice of Bimini in 2012 s Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 and is totally still a thing Georgia s abortion ban is a nightmare and if this is what it takes it s a small price to pay That s what she said Dunked on my own dick And the play s not ineffectiveither Like all the best ideas it s Working Windows: A Guide to the Repair and Restoration of Wood Windows extremely simple and it involves dildosTranslationsValerie Schrag as mentioned above has a comic version for the Graphic Canon that s super fun but pretty direly abridgedDouglass Parker has one for this common Aristophanes collection that s fine but it s trying very very hard to be as cool as Aristophanes was and failing If you ve found a great translation please do let me know How do you translate comedy that is than 25 centuries old Withase apparently Lysistrata first performed way back in 411 BC is just as funny now as it must have been for the ancient Greeks It was while holidaying in the Peloponnese that it occurred to me to brush up on the ancient Greek classics A good decision since it really contextualised all the history I was literally walking over very dayThe play commences in 431 404 BC with the Peloponnesian War between Athens and Sparta Almost all the men are ngaged in what seems to be an interminable conflict It is Athenian woman men are Solo: A Star Wars Story: Expanded Edition engaged in what seems to be an interminable conflict It is Athenian woman who decides on an unusual course of action to bring the war to annd and restore peace she calls on women from all the warring states to refuse their men sex until peace is achieved As you can imagine this may have been a measure welcomed by Many Women But Generally Unpopular women but generally unpopular the gentsThere is much debate between the women leading this movement and the men in power and the dialogue is very witty and funny as justifications for and arguments against are bantered back and forth Aristophanes is known primarily as a comedian and the play is certainly amusing though the underlying message is uite sombre there are very few solutions to war In reality the Peloponnesian War has been raging for twenty years by the time the play was first staged and it still wasn t over The powerhouse that had been Athens was ffectively reduced to a pile of rubble and Sparta merged as the new seat of power Albeit at a massive cost to life It ually raises pertinent uestions about the traditional roles of women in society and highlights gender ineuality the fact that the women know that the most ffective tool to curb men s behaviour is through their bodies clearly underlines that not much has changed in terms of gender bias over the centuriesAn The Lady in Pink exceptional and timely read for me The ancient Greeks never cease to amaze me with their skills and knowledge in just aboutverything Make sure you read a well translated copy I hate this book because I got arrested on account of it I was at the University of Texas Perry Castaneda Library and it got lost amidst the shuffled stack of books which I dumped into my backpack when I left Exiting the library the sensor went. Erfume of femininity and gives the finest sense of the charm of a cluster of girls the sweet sense of their chatter and the contact of their bodies that is to be found before Shakespeare because that mocking gaiety we call Aristophanes reaches here its most positive acclamation of life vitalizing sex with a deep delight a rare happiness of the spirit Jack LindsayCalonice it's than I can bearI am hot all over with blushes for our sexMen say we're slippery rogues Yet summoned on the most tremendous businessFor deliberation still they snuggle in bed LysistrataMy dear they'll come It's hard for women you knowTo get away There's so much to do;Husbands to be patted and put in good tempersServants to be poked out children washedOr soothed with lullabys or fed with mouthfuls of pap CaloniceAre you not sad your children's fathersGo ndlessly off soldiering afarIn this plodding war I am willing to wagerThere's not one here whose husband is at home LysistrataAnd not the slightest glitter OffSorry I forgot to check it out No big deal happens all the time But Department of Collegiate Fascism aka the No big deal happens all the time But Department of Collegiate Fascism aka the are reuired to file a report Bored from arresting 19 year olds for walking down the street half drunk they show up like it s the scene of a hostage crisis And unlucky me it turns out I have a warrant for an unpaid alcohol possession ticket Still no big deal I can go down to the station and pay it Fine But this is the lobby of a large student library and I am surrounded by my fellow students all of us dutifully studying on a Tuesday night As such might I please just walk out

"to the police "
the police AGAINST THE WALL MOTHERFUCKERAJ COVER ME WHILE I SEARCH THIS SCUMBAGGOTCHA COVERED BUDDY Loudly cocks shotgunNO WEAPONS ON HIS TORSO NOTHING UP HIS SPHINCTER NOTHING TIED TO HIS BALLSACK BUT WAIT LET ME SUEEZE HARDER Sound of testes being crunched by human fistOK THIS PERP S CLEAN GIT ME MY CUFFSSound of me being viciously shackledYOU GIT THAT ARM HELP ME DRAG EM OUT TO THE SUAD CAR HOLD ON HE S MEEKLY PROTESTING HAND ME MY BLUDGEON Egregious violenceYEAH GIT SOME GIT SOME GIT SOME MOTHERFUCKER YEAH AJ KICK EM SOME MORE GIT SOME BITCH Ok he ain t movin Sound of manacled body being dragged across library lobby accompanied by the stunned silence of onlookersThus nded my xperience with Lysistrata I never got to the nding although in later years my various girlfriends in the manner of Ghandi protesting English oppression of the Indian subcontinent were wont to use Lysistratan nonaction to protest my rampant drinking and proneness to random street violenceNot recommended How old is the idea of women withholding sex from men to get what they want Well apparently as far back as 405 BC because that s what happens in this hilarious and bawdy Greek comedy In this play it was Sinner's Heart en masse with the singular purpose of bringing peace between the warring Athenians and Spartans Did it work Well what do you think TV Commercial Does your husband and the men of Athens just want to wage war Do they ignore your pleas for peace no matter how long the Peloponnesian War has been going on Tired of your men s stupid decisions in such a trying time Do you wish tond it Well women of Athen Looking at the themes of sex and gender this bawdy anti war sex comedy of which I found rather amusing was first staged in 411 BCE In simplistic terms the play is the account of one woman s xtraordinary mission to nd the Peloponnesian War as Lysistrata convinces the women of Greece to withhold sexual privileges from their husbands as a means of forcing the men to negotiate a peace In other words its like a sex strike Lysistrata a strong minded Athenian with a great sense of individual responsibility reveals her plan to take matters into her own hands and Spirit of the Wolf end the interminable war between Athens and Sparta She has convened a meeting of women from various city states in Greece and with support from the Spartan Lampito shexplains to the other women her plan which Leads to some really laughable momentsModern adaptations of the play are often performed with a feminist andor pacifist viewpoint but the original all the way back then was neither particularly feminist nor unreservedly pacifist Even while apparently demonstrating A Vineyard Christmas empathy with the female condition Aristophanes still tended to reinforce sexual stereotyping of women as irrational creatures in need of protection from themselves and from others Certainly it seems clear that Aristophanes was not actually advocating real political power for womenLysistrata herself though is clearly anxceptional woman and Een Bijzondere Vorm Van Osteosclerose even when the other women waver in their resolution she remains strong and committed She is usually uite separate from the other women she does not herselfxhibit any sexual desire has no obvious lovers or husband and does not purposely flirt with men she is smarter wittier and generally adopts a serious tone than the other women the humour throughout is highly topical and the playwright xpected his audience to be familiar with myriad local personalities places and issues a difficulty faced by any producer trying to stage Lysistrata for modern audiences As well as the slapstick comedy and the raucous and risu double ntendres much of the humour in the play derives from the audience s knowledge of specific figures from Athens public life and recent historyKnown as the Father of Comedy this was great fun and I just can t uite believe its as old as it is I imagine it will never feel dated long live Aristophanes. F a loverAnd since the Milesians betrayed us I've not seenThe image of a single upright manTo be a marble consolation to usNow will you help me if I find a meansTo stamp the war out LysistrataLewd to the least drop in the tiniest veinOur sex is fitly food for Tragic PoetsOur whole life's but a pile of kisses and babiesBut hardy Spartan if you join with meAll may be righted yet O help me help me LysistrataBy the two Goddesses now can't you seeAll we have to do is idly sit indoorsWith smooth roses powdered on our cheeksOur bodies burning naked through the foldsOf shining Amorgos' silk and meet the menWith our dear Venus plats plucked trim and neatTheir stirring love will rise up furiouslyThey'll beg our arms to open That's our timeWe'll disregard their knocking beat them off And they will soon be rabid for a PeaceI'm sure of it LysistrataThis kindle book has been hand formatted and includes a linked table of contents and illustrations by Norman Lindsay and Renaissance artists Enjo. LysistrataSome Greek men you ll discoverBeing lesser loverThan a renderer of warTreat their wives much like a whoreSo one day LysistrataEuipped with all the dataReckoned upon a tacticTo withhold love climacticShe aimed to nd all conflictWith some cohorts she had pickedTo flaunt breasts and nothing hideThough til peace men were deniedMales came with their pricks rectRevealed for all to inspectStill their wives rejected themUntil war they would condemnSo the violence did decrease And the warring tribes made peaceA gently handled magic wandMade sure a double Hot Shot (North Ridge Book 3) entendreAt play snd the sun went downOn the whole of Athens townAnd nothing followed afterBut the choes of laughter Illustration by Norman Lindsay It had been uite awhile Since I Contemplated Over I contemplated over books let alone penning a critical appraisal on Goodreads It was tough trying to get words out of the overwhelming motional vortex an obstinate ketchup bottle ignoring the need of a fried potato for the tangy goodness So when Brian suggested a group reading of Lysistrata I was a bit apprehensive A Greek playwright crossing the dreaded course of fallen heroic tragedies Voyage to the Underworld (Star Wars Missions, even remorse to my cerebral coma not a luxurious indulgence at the moment Lysistrata is a woman s name yes it is and sex is the weapon used to hem the broken olive branch To husband or lover I ll not open arms Though love and denial maynlarge his charms But still at home ignoring him I ll stay Bountiful clad in saffron silk all day If then he seizes me with by dint of force I ll give him reason for a long remorse I ll never lie and stare up at the ceiling Nor like a lion on all four go kneeling If I keep faith then bounteous cups be mine Do you swear to this Then I shall immolate the victim thus Holding a pair of olive logs a vine torch and a small pot of live The First Ghost embers Lysistrata and her women folk thusmbarked on an galitarian journey within the locked Acropolis citadel a long awaited unified cry of misplaced wisdom Neither the pointless sexist blabber from unassailable old men who rather burn the protesters than give a patient ar nor the wailing of desperate husbands and lovers could shake the well rooted fortitude of this rebellious bunch Peace is what they strive at the cost of their fornication We pay taxes manage finesse with domestic budgetary and give birth to descendants who will render their youth to deathly absurdities in a unproductive war Abandoned voices yearning to be heard outside the bedroom in the ubiuitous courtyards of masochism I m a free woman screams this slap stick Simple Numbers, Straight Talk, Big Profits!: 4 Keys to Unlock Your Business Potential engaging play Aristophanes delineated a cohesive front anualized gender dais debating the validity of aggressive hostilities Wars not only annihilate countries but families too Common sense is a rarity and idiocy the universal daily crow of a proud rooster Underestimating the weak is the biggest blunder of an astute strategist And Groupthink is not just a term coined by a confident Mr Janis harried gocentric faulty pronouncements can ven corrupt sincerity Remember the Bay of Pigs Nevertheless all is not lost and the inbred humor prances around like a spring rabbit One cannot help but laugh when distressed over the abstinence issue Myrrhine s husband Cinesias brings their child to convince to come back to a lovely home and a lonely husband Even after pledging to bringpeace to the land Myrrhine does not give in to the carnal needs bringing Cinesias to tear his hair out CINESIASA wicked thing as I repeatO Zeus O ZeusCanst Thou not suddenly let looseSome twirling hurricane to tearHer flapping up along the airAnd drop her when she s whirled aroundHere to the groundNeatly impa This was hilarious Women withholding sex until all the men stopped the war What an imaginative idea I Humanism especially liked how the women fought against their own desires despite being in heat Several laugh out loud moments for me People who are currently sleeping with an academic may be interested to know that I just sent the following GENUINE letter to an Elsevier journal in response to a reuest to review a paper If this catches on don t blame Not Blame AristophanesDear Professor My girlfriend on whom I rely for advice inthical matters has researched Elsevier s business model in some detail She says that after careful consideration she would not be able to sleep with someone who continued to review for an Elsevier journalGiven my girlfriend s uncompromising stance on this issue I am afraid that I must decline your offer to review this paper and ask you to Lysistrata is a play by Aristophanes It was originally performed in Greece in 411 BC and tells the tale of women using their sexuality to Smokin' Hot end the Peloponnesian War Lysistrata convinces the women of Greece to withhold their sexual power from their husbands and partners to negotiate for peace This strategy creates a battle between the sexesThe play Lysistrata gives us great insight into male female relations in Ancient Greece which was a male dominated society Lysistrata as the protagonist is a strong and inspiring character The play is often humorous the use of language was consideredxplicit in its timeThe foreword to the book below by Jack Lindsay shows the importance of Aristophanes' play This is followed by some wonderful uotes from LysistrataForewordThe intellectual and spiritual tendrils of the poem are truly interwoven the operation of their centers nearly unified; and so the work goes deeper into life It is his greatest play because of this because it holds an intimate