Ad any What can I tell you about The Fifth Sorceress that you haven t already read in other better reviews Not much I suspect So in lieu of a real review here s a dumb trivia list SorryTHE TOP EIGHT THINGS YOU DIDN T KNOW ABOUT THE FIFTH SORCERESS8 The main unit of currency in the magical land of Eutracia is ither the Kisa or the Kasi FIFTH SORCERESS8 The main unit of currency in the magical land of Eutracia is ither the Kisa or the Kasi on which page you re on7 Our hero Prince Tristan a 30 year old man is
in a mock duel the what s that behind you trick6 Prince Tristan also tries to play fetch with his horse This is treated will all seriousness by the author who appears to think horses are just big dogs5 Tristan invents knife throwing Seriously He also invents the dumbest way possible to carry his knives in a uiver on his back Like arrows4 After their reign the Kings of Eutracia have the choice to live forever and have magical powers In 300 years NONE of them have ver chosen to do so3 Of all the magical races with which the author could have chosen to populate his Electromyography for Experimentalists epic fantasy land he chose Gnomes But not just Gnomes Garden Gnomes You know the little statues you see in suburban yards Yep They look just like that2 The people of Eutracia invented steel working before writing They also can t climb mountains or sail along a coast line Not kidding1 Evil sorceresses can t fish I don t know why They just can tPlay me out Paul Where do I begin Honestly when I read through the first fifty pages of Fifth Sorceress I thought Hey this book ain t so bad What s with all the terrible reviews Then I arrived at the point where Tristan played catch with his horse and I thought Oh This isn t a fantasy story This is a series of monologues crafted in a shoddy manner to describe a fantasy world that is rampant with cliches and inconsistencies Every character in this book talks too much oftenngaging in aggravating one sided conversations sustained by lines consisting of Don t you know You must be wondering Are you surprised I will now tell you my scheme followed by merciless pages of boring Forgetful of Their Sex: Female Sanctity and Society, ca. 500-1100 exposition When a savage beast like creature appeared and introduced itself with I am a wiktor followed by 2 Of peace and plenty protected and guided by a council of immortal wizards Eutracia is about to crown a new king And as the coronation approaches the spirit of celebration fillsvery heart Except onePrince Tristan is a reluctant monarch to be Though born with the ndowed blood that will give him the power to master magic and destined by tradition to succeed his father as ruler he is a rebel soul And when he discovers the ancient hidden caves where strange red waters flow possessed of their own mysterious magic it only makes him yearn all the to scape his future of duty and succumb to the stirrings of nchantment within himBut than tradition compels Tristan to ascend the throne The very xist. Uite possibly the worst book Ever Written It Fails In written It fails in category Though not as Bad As I Expected Given as I Wicked Loving Lies expected given reputation this is a pretty bad book Sometimes in instructive ways which is why I read it but also sometimes in amusing waysThis book really likes its infodumps They re heavy handed but what I find remarkable is that many times the infodumps describe things that the reader already learned in a previous infodump There areven some La heredera del mar examples where the character themselves knows what is being infodumped to them and the person infodumping knows thatAt the dramatic climax when all hope seems lost there are 18 solid pages of infodumping and reiteration of the plot And once the conflict is resolved and there are multiple time bombs in play the characters spend several pages standing around talking about random detailsFor a world in which functional magicxists veryone is comically incredulous about very new
Defeated In A Mock Duel
FANTASY ELEMENT THEY ENCOUNTER AT FIRSTelement they ncounter At first s funny when a 300 year old wizard is just gobsmacked by the slightest thing but ventually I became really sick of people s minds reeling at very opportunityIn that and many other aspects veryone in this book is an idiot There s a late moment where two characters have a conversation obliuely about something Aramaic Bowl Spells: Jewish Babylonian Aramaic Bowls Volume One else andvery single line gets a full Xenophon And His World (Historia Einzelschriften) explanationven though their metaphors are painfully obvious People are constantly angered or impressed by trivialities And after so much buildup and pretentious withholding of information here are the clever strategies to resolve the final conflicts1 Let Geography of the Gaze: Urban and Rural Vision in Early Modern Europe every stage of the villain s plan succeed until they begin the ritual to destroy the world then bump their magic artifact and they all die Non villains are fine because magic2 When surrounded bynemy forces duel their leader start to lose then go Look over there and stab him when he isn t looking You are now the new leaderAs I said parts of this book are competent than I Groove: An Aesthetic of Measured Time expected But that s damning with faint praise because nobody reads fantasy to trudge through mediocrity This was an interesting industry trainwreck to read but I have zero desire to re. In The Fifth Sorceress Robert Newcomb conjures a time and place wrought withxuisite detail characters vividly drawn and deeply felt and a history rich in glory and horror splendor and secrets We gave them a chance once long ago We offered to share power One Wild Weekend eually and in peace But they refused and chose war With them it was all or nothing Wizard against Sorceress Male against female Light against dark It is than three centuries since the ravages of a devastating war nearly tore apart the kingdom of Eutracia In its wake those who masterminded the bloodshed a uartet of powerful conuest hungry Sorceresses were sentenced toxile with return all but impossible and death all but inevitable Now a land. .
Read The Fifth Sorceress.
Ages of xposition about its own NATURE ORIGIN AND MOTIVATION I KNOW origin and motivation I know I was in for a delightful rideEven with all those pages of xpositions the world of Eutracia is painfully bland and uninteresting Here s a kingdom ruled by a king and his ueen and a Directorate of wizards and that s it No visuals come to my mind It s a kingdom like any other ruled by idiotic wizards and a king with a manchild as a son The main character Tristan is thirty but acted as if he were fifteen The kingdom ruled by the good wizards is bright and sparkly as opposed to the kingdom ruled by the Naturally Naughty Wicked Willing evil sorceresses which is dark and gloomy Every chapter contains several fantasy cliches that are painful to read and the treatment of women in this book borders on insulting I felt no tension as I approached the climacticvent of this book because the main character was a Chosen One who obviously would not fail in his uest no matter whatI am of a character person than a plot person and can usually forgive a bad plot as long as the characters are interesting but Fifth Sorceress does not F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby even have characters they have cardboard cutouts of real humans Aside from Tristan charactersxist in this book solely for the purpose of Walled (The Line, expositions and after the first hundred pages or so I was so numbed by it that I don tven remember characters names any aside from Tristan and his wizard companion Newcomb did not ven bother describing most of his male
but described all the female ones in xcruciating details with respect to their sex appeal and garments Why is that very time Tristan saw a woman the first thing he thought of was She was the most beautiful woman he had ver Tristan saw a woman the first thing he thought of was She was the most beautiful woman he had ver This happened at least three times in the book with nearly the Tempting Fate exact same wordingThe only reason why anyone would want to read this book is when he or she has read a few books written by actual good writers and are looking for some laughs The contrast between this book and those written by otherstablished fantasy writers is so stark that very page appears humorous I certainly njoyed The Fifth Sorceress in a so bad it s good sense Perhaps you would too. Ence of Eutracia depends upon it For after these long centuries of peace dreadful omens have begun to appear heralding something too unspeakable to ponder And if indeed the old One Giant Leap evil has returned hungry to wreak vengeance Tristan's role in an ages old prophecy must be fulfilled or the cost to his kingdom and his people will be beyond imaginationIt will be a battle like nonever known against an nemy whose thirst for blood and domination is depthless and unyielding And for Tristan it will be the ultimate challenge facing an adversary whose greatest weapon is the person he loves most transformed into the instrument of his annihilation and the catalyst that will doom Eutracia forever to darkness. .characters but described all the female ones in xcruciating details with respect to their sex appeal and garments Why is